Mommy?
by Rogue-Pirate
Summary: What is it that could make Sheldon the sociopathic agent that we know and love today? Could it be a troubling event in early life? Read on to find out. Apologies for lame summary...but what can I say? This is a four chapter drabble
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, brave people who have decided to try out this little ficlet, as I've so fondly named it. This is my first attempt at OuaTiM, and only my second fanfiction EVER. So if you would be so kind as to review I'd be so grateful, there is nothing that brings joy to a writer-yah ok!-like getting a review, so if you'd be so kind. I don't mind what you say, good/bad/constructive criticism are much welcome… but please, and I mean PLEASE, NO flames…they're not helpful and are very disheartening…that's all I ask. So with out much further ado I give you…my story:**

Sheldon was tucked up in his bed fast asleep when the window in the kitchen door was smashed, sending glass tinkling onto the black and white tile floor. An arm reached in and unlocked the back door. The man who entered was aged about mid to late twenties, with uncombed hair and a few weeks worth of stubble, what's more he looked like he hadn't slept or showered in days. The glass crunched under foot as he made his way through he kitchenette to the stairs.

However, before he could reach the top a woman appeared, she was roughly the same age, but she had worry lines that belied her age. "What do you want Ted?" she asked her voice was flat, completely without emotion, but she sounded tired, as if this was not the first time this had happen. Ted didn't stop walking until he was standing just two steps below her; at this angle he had to look up to look her in the eyes. "Jayne, we need to talk, I've changed…" Before he could say anything else she interrupted him "you've always changed" she spat "but you never do, it's all talk, and I'm sick of it, No More! I want you to leave, and don't come back, I've had enough Ted."

With that Ted grabbed her arm, just above the elbow, and yanked her down the stairs after him. When they reached the bottom, he stopped suddenly causing her to run into him, and pulled her towards him so that his face was just inches from hers "Oh, you think you're so perfect little-miss-high-and-mighty! Need I remind you where we met? You were a bloody lap dancer, for Christ sake, so watching you take the moral high ground, is really fucking funny!"

The desperation in his face was evident, and she could feel his hot breath on her face, and smell the alcohol…'_well that certainly explains things, for nearly two weeks he's stayed away, and now that he's got a bit of booze inside of him, he's back and any minute now, he's going to turn vicious, so damn predictable! How long will it be before I'm forced to call the police again? And what's more, how long before they do something to keep this bastard away from my family?' _

She attempted to pull her arm free all the while trying to focus once again on his drunken ramblings, not the easiest thing to do. _'Yada yada yada'_ she thought to herself '_change the bloody record1 I've heard all this before…yes it's all my fault that you got fired from STACKING shelves-what the hell, who knew that could happen? And being a worthless, spineless twat, you turn to drink and drugs-again, who knew? _She thought sarcastically, she was bitter, she realised this, but she also knew it was with good reason, the waste of space in front of her only bothered to show up when he wanted or needed something, right on cue he said " I need money, rent to pay, and err…" he hesitated, as if forgetting what he was going to say "alcohol to buy" Jayne supplied in a sarcastic manner, but all the same, deadly serious. He turned to face her, anger flashing in his eyes, "No! Don't think you can take that tone with me, I'm still your husband and head of this family!" He had grabbed both her arms and began to shake her.

She managed to get her hands flat on his chest and pushed as hard as she could, he let go and stepped back, "get out Ted, this is neither the time or the place, and if you don't go, things will happen…and the police will have to be called again, and nobody here wants that. Ok?" She tried being the sympathetic and understanding wife, but it obviously didn't work as Ted pulled out a gun and began waving it in her face. "Give me everything you have, where's your handbag? Your purse, where is it?" His voice rising in anger, how dare she talk to him as if he was some kind of retarded child, he'll show her. "Ted, I'm not going to give you anything, I don't have anything you can have." '_She's lying…she's only saying that so that I'll go away empty handed, show her what happens when people lie…bad things happen…'_ before another word could be said the gun had gone off, Ted looked down at the gun, and then back up at his wife who was trying to stem the bleeding by putting her hands to her chest. He ran…without looking back he raced through the kitchenette, and back out the door into the night. All the while, Jayne had sunk to her knees; she fell backwards, as she lay on the floor her hair was spread around her head, her legs were bent beneath her, and one arm was lay bent to her side, but as the life seeped out of her all she could think was _'please God, take care of my little boy…let him be ok…please, take care…'_ and with that she had gone.

Suddenly there was the sound of child like footsteps running down the stairs "I heard a loud bang, and I got scared…and…and…you weren't upstairs, don't be mad at me for coming down here…I was scared." A four-year-old Sheldon, dressed in a white dinosaur one-piece pyjama set, had reached the bottom of the stairs. He looked around briefly for his mother, before spotting her in the lounge room, his beautiful chocolate brown eyes widened at the sight of her lying, twisted on the ground, one arm lying on her stomach, her head turned away from him; which can only be a good thing, because she had already died. He crept up to her, he didn't want to scare her by sneaking up on her, she got cross when he did that, and he knelt next to her shoulder, he tapped her ever so gently. _'Uh-oh she spilt something on her nighty'_ he thought to himself as he gently turned her head towards him with his chubby little hands, _'her eyes are open, so she cant be sleeping, but why isn't she looking at me?'_ "Mommy?" he gently whispered, only to receive no answer _'was he bad, is that why she wasn't talking to him?'_ "I'm sorry mommy" and with that he curled up in the crook of her arm, pulled it around him, and just lay next to her. It was here that the policeman found him, a little later on after finally deciding to check out the complaint of a domestic dispute.

**That's it I'm afraid, it's a wee bit short but my brain has run dry, so what can I do…If you'd be so kind as to leave a review, I'd be SO grateful, have I mentioned that? Maybe…anyway it's true; so let me know what you think. Thanks again.**


	2. Chapter 2

Merry Christmas, happy holidays, etc. Here it is, the next chapter, just like I promised, she's all set to marry Norrington just like she promised and you get to die for her just like you promised, so we're all men of our word really…except that this is the wrong film, sorry. Deepest apologies, got a little carried away, I blame the alcohol I've consumed in the last few days…Anyway the point is, that this is the next chapter, as it were, ya know, for what it's worth and all that. I should probably apologise for the crappiness of this A/N, and perhaps for the weirdness of this chapter. I feel I should explain, it was Christmas Eve and my muse decided to give me a little present in the shape of this chapter-and the next-but I should warn you now…they're a little strange. So PLEASE no flames if you don't like them…. just tell me what you did like :p or don't review at all…that's all folks, enjoy the chapter, and review and let me know what you think. Merci.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, well except the mother, everything else belongs to Robbie Rodriguez and Troublemaker studios. Not to mention the wonderfully talented Johnny Depp and cast-although they're not in this story :s

Oh yes the quote above belongs to a very wealthy fictional mouse and the associated companies. So please don't sue me, I own nothing worth having, or anything of any value…

It was Christmas Eve and an eight-year-old Sheldon was lying in bed trying to fight the sleep that was threatening to over come him. _This year would be the year,_ he thought to himself _he was going to prove that Santa doesn't exist once and for all, or…if he was wrong, apologise for his lack of belief and then inquire as to why he never got any toys, what had he done that was so naughty. He wasn't that naughty, surely,_ he thought _there were boys in school who always called out and…and threw things, yet they ALWAYS got toys at Christmas and birthdays… That's what he'd ask Santa, why they got presents and he didn't, what had he done that was so bad._

It was four years since Sheldon's mother had died, and he still remembered it. It was a little hazy, but he still remembered the feeling when he called out to her and no one answered…the panic that he was all alone, it had crept up his spine. He pushed the memory out of his mind, "this is not the time, I'm here to speak to Santa…" _maybe that's what he could ask for, his mommy back, if he got that, then he'd be good forever…that would be such a great Christmas present_. Sheldon didn't really remember his father, whenever he thought about him, he always appeared as a figure covered by shadow, he could only ever make out an outline. After his mother had died they had tried to find his father so he could go live with him, but they couldn't, they never said why that was though, _perhaps he's dead too_ Sheldon thought, anyway, whatever the reason was he had to stay with foster families, until they found him somewhere permanent to live.

His mother on the other hand, he could always remember her; the way she would pick him up and cuddle him when he cried, her smile and her sparkling eyes, and the way her soft hair would tickle his face when he rested his head on her shoulder. He remembered it all, and missed it so much; it made his heart ache with longing.

He couldn't fight it any more, he couldn't keep his eyes open for one minute longer. Every time he blinked they would stay closed for a couple of minutes before he would force himself to open them again. _What time is Santa supposed to come? Midnight? Or is that just witches and ghosts? _He wondered as his eyes closed for the final time.

Just as he drifted off, a flickering white light appeared at the end of his bed, at first it was about the same size as a candle flame; but it slowly grew, both in size and in brilliance, until it was about the size of a person, a woman in fact. At first the woman didn't move, she stood where she appeared looking at the sleeping child. Very slowly she walked around the bed until she was standing next to his shoulder. "Sheldon" she whispered "darling, I'm so sorry." She stroked his head, sweeping the hair away from his forehead "I'm sorry you have to be here, alone at Christmas, and don't you ever think that this is your fault, you, my darling, have done nothing wrong." She tried to fight back the tears as her poor, beautiful happy little boy, had to spend Christmas in a foster home. A single tear slid down her face as she thought about her little boy growing up without a mother, and all the things she would miss out on, _his first kiss, his graduation, his wedding, his children-her grandchildren… _She kissed him on the forehead, "Merry Christmas sweetie, I wish I could stay with you, but I cant I have to go" and with that she disappeared, the light faded, and everything was black again.

Sheldon awoke with a start "Mommy?" he called out, he looked around, but there was no one there. He began to sob when he realised that it must have been a dream, his mommy couldn't have been just here because she was dead. He lay back down, curled up on his side and cried himself back to sleep. Santa was completely forgotten.

**And there we have it, this is for those of you who wanted to see another chapter, bet you're regretting it now, ey? I do apologise for it being so short but my damn inspiration, is telling me to take a hike, as it's a bank holiday, and it refuses to work without double pay-which I just cannot afford! I have kinda written another chapter to go after this one, and there may be another one after that. So that's 4 in total…if my muse stops being a pain in the ass and does it's job! Otherwise I'll have to trade it in-you hear that muse? I'll trade you in! Ok I'm done rambling like an idiot now, but I just have to say that the line 'Panic…it crept up my spine like the beginnings of an acid frenzy, belongs to Hunter S Thompson, and has been adapted for this fic. That's it, all I have to say, except please review…**


	3. Chapter 3

Here it is the third chapter in the four chapter series. I apologise for taking so damn long, as I said to Sue-AnneSparrow I am mighty disorganised. Busy with Uni work and all that, no excuses I know. If there's anybody still out there, I'd like to thank you being so patient, you all deserve much hugs and cookies for your supportiveness. Disclaimer: Don't own Sands, don't own anything, please don't sue…and waste both mine and your time. 

Sands lay on his bed, completely unmoving, his arms crossed behind his head, and he stared up at the ceiling. Well, where the ceiling would have been, had he been able to see it, it was too dark, completely pitch black in fact, despite the fact that it was only lunchtime. In reality he couldn't tell what was up, and what was down; he could in fact, for all he knew, be staring at the floor!

He knew that it was nearly Christmas; by the fact that he was nearly trampled to death by a stampede every time he walked out the front door. The citizens of New York were running around the city buying shit to give to people who they neither cared about or saw other than in the festive holidays. What's more, they too will be given shit that they don't want, and the best thing of all is that it's over-priced shit. _Morons._ His neighbours were playing Christmas carols on loop, the same songs, over…and over…again. It was driving him insane. The more he thought about it the more he realised that his neighbours were perhaps a little too excited by the impending festivities…Sands smirked and raised an eyebrow, _well perhaps I should go over there and restore a little balanced into this crazy world. On second thoughts perhaps I'll run for governor, and then president and make Christmas illegal, which would certainly solve the problem of over excited children…and fuck-wit adults…_

It was a pretty safe bet to say that Sands was not one for holly-jolly festive periods. In fact, if he recalled correctly, this was one of his least favourites-it's worse than Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween (despite the fact that he'd save a fortune on Halloween masks, should he ever get invited to a party…) oh, thinking about it, The Day of the Dead probably came a close second…what with the whole, eye gouging thing…he had hated Christmas for as long as he could remember, not that he did that very often, not when he was awake anyway. Reminiscing about the past was something that happened whilst he was asleep, and could not escape the torture of having to relive the worst days of his life.

He lay in the same place, not moving at all, except for the rise and fall of his chest, which betrayed the fact that he hadn't died. To a stranger watching him it would be completely understandable to think that he had fallen asleep. However, anyone who had seen him sleep would know different, for when he slept his face would twist in torment and he would fight demons that only he could see.

Just when he was considering getting up and finding a bottle of tequila, and getting so pissed that he'd pass out-which thankfully meant no nightmares-all of a sudden, he saw something that appeared to be a candle flame, out of the corner of his eye. Which definitely made him question _am I asleep? Of course I'm asleep, what other explanation is there for the fact that I can see? It's not just that it's unlikely I'll ever be able to see again, it's impossible, because just over a year ago I had my eyes ripped out by a crazy doctor, who got his jollies by doing things like this._

Sands tried to jolt himself awake, as the flame continued to grow, not just in size, but also in brilliance, it grew rapidly until it was just a little bit smaller than him, suddenly there was a flash and a woman stood the place of the light. She appeared to have an unnatural glow radiating from her _but prey tell, what the hell is **natural** about this?_ His mind countered.

There was something about the woman standing at the bottom of his bed that seemed so familiar, but he just couldn't place it. _Was it someone from the CIA? No. Before then? College? No. High school? No…how much further do I have to go back?_ As soon as she spoke, it hit him in the face like a ten-tonne truck.

"Sheldon…"

"Oh. My. Christ. Mom?" he just stared at her completely stunned, it felt as if someone had kicked him in the chest, he just couldn't breathe…

She just looked at him, not moving, not saying anything more, as if she was trying to absorb everything about him. "Ok, I'm going to freak right out!" he had heard of the side effects of drugs, flashbacks and all that, but it hadn't bothered him when he was a college student…

He opened his mouth to speak again, but was interrupted before he could start. "Sheldon, what the hell happened?" _It's hard to place the tone, it's angry, yes it's definitely angry-he'd heard that enough times in his life to be able to pick up on it straight away-but what was the other thing? Disappointment? _

If he had eyes, they would be shifting from side to side at the moment trying to avoid the awkward question. "What do you mean? The eyes?" He asked, as he raised his hand and made a move to touch the place where his eyes used to be. "No" She said simply, shaking her head a little. "The boy that I used to know was kind and sweet, and fun-loving, always smiling…what happened to him?" Suddenly Sands jumped up from the bed, suddenly very angry, the shock of seeinghis dead mother again, had wore off "like you care, you fucked off and left me when I was just a kid. Preferring to die than to be with me," he was practically yelling by the end, but he didn't care anymore. His hair had fallen in his face, obscuring it slightly, and he was breathing heavily as if he had just run.

She moved towards him "Sheldon, is that what you think?" she was a little shocked at his outburst, and concerned about why he would say what he did "do you think I chose to leave you? That I wanted to? I didn't leave intentionally, it's just…something that happened I guess…" She was standing right in front of him now, and was about to reach out and put her arms around him, when she added soothingly "But I was watching…" "Oh you watched did you?" Sands sneered, too angry to care whether his word were hurting her, he had felt the pain for long enough, it was someone else's turn now, "You watched as foster parents broke my wrists, or beat me because they had a bad day. Did you enjoy the show? Should I have screamed more? Or cried more?" He looked wild, his fists were clenched and his lips were curled back in a snarl, "should I have called for my mommy more? Not that it would have made any difference, it's not as if you came, is it! By now, he was breathing heavily again; his legs gave out from underneath him and he sank to his knees, he was sitting on the floor, leaning heavily against the bed, and was sobbing. This only made him more frustrated, he was a grown man with no eyes, and was crying-if it could be called that-like a little schoolgirl.

Is mother was standing above him and she hesitated only a moment before crouching down next to him and sweeping the hair away from his face and taking him into a hug. As she settled onto the floor next to Sands, she pulled him closer still, so that his head rested on her shoulder, she closed her eyes, as if trying to block out the pain, of missing out on her son's life.

"It went so wrong mom, it was supposed to be like this" he muttered into her shoulder. She tilted his head up so that she could see his face and the sheer honesty on it broke her heart. "I know, baby, it wasn't supposed to be this way, we were supposed to be a family, you were supposed to be a doctor, or a lawyer. Sheldon, there are things…" Sands interrupted, "please mom, don't…" "No, Sheldon, I may not have been here when you were growing up, and I know that you had a lot to deal with, and I'm truly sorry for that, really I am, but it doesn't excuse your actions…how many people have you killed? How many people are missing loved ones because they got in your way? I love you unconditionally, of course I do, I'm your mother, but this is still hard for me to bear…and this is something that you'll have to square with one day." Sands tried to pull away, he didn't want to hear this, ever since he could remember, all he had wanted as a child, was his mom back, and now that she was here, she was telling him that she didn't like him-oh yes, she loved him(only because she had to), but as a person she thought he was despicable. "Mom, please…I'm sorry, I didn't mean too…" This earned him a look of disbelief "Sheldon, I may be dead, but I'm not a bloody idiot!" Sands laughed at this. "But having said that, I am very proud of the way that you've handled this" She brushed her hand over the place where his eyes were previously housed "not many would have coped with it as well as you-and not many would have gone on to shoot three people" "four Sands automatically corrected" "Oh yes, the oh so charming Ajedrez, how could I forget her?" She frowned "Well perhaps now you can see people for the way they really are, and not be blinded by beauty." "I have no eyes, I wont be able to see anybody, and although she was beautiful, and had a part to play in the loss of my favourite pair of eyeballs, it was actually a rather old and wrinkled man that did the blinding!" Sands said sarcastically, but not in an aggressive manner, more jovial, and he was smiling, if only a small little half grin. "Perhaps so, but you'll still be able to see what a person is really like, in here" she tapped her finger on his chest "listen to what you're senses are telling you, we have five for a reason."

"Sheldon, you know that there is no where I would rather be than here with you, I would give anything to be here with you for Christmas, when you got married and had your first child, but I cant be. I have to go back, I've already been here to long. But just know that I love you very much, and I'll be watching over you." She was even starting to fade as she said this. "Pease wait!" Sands asked a little panicky "answer me this, why did you kill yourself?" he seemed genuinely curious to know the answer, but his mother was shocked by the question "is that what you think? That I killed myself?" "No…" Sands replied, a little unsure "that was what I was told…" "I didn't commit suicide, your father shot me!" she said angrily "WHAT!" Sands asked shocked. His mother squeezed her eyes shut before opening one, and saw that he was still there, looking at her questioningly and awaiting an answer "oh crap…yes, it's true, it was an accident we were arguing and one thing lead to another…bob's your uncle, fanny's your aunt…I think you're old enough to work out what happened next." Sands' face darkened "Sheldon, hunny, he didn't mean it, it was an accident." "but he's still alive" Sands asked through gritted teeth "yes" she replied reluctantly "and…he never bothered to…come and see me…" the old feelings from Sands' childhood were beginning to rise up inside him…hate, loneliness, the feeling of abandonment…his jaw clenched. "Sheldon, it was a long time ago, I've forgiven him, you need to as well, he didn't know what he was doing, he was a mess at the time, drink and drugs, you name it he was taking it. Don't be angry, it wont do you any good." _Angry? Angry didn't even begin to cover what he was feeling. _ "You mean that THIS, all of this" he spat out "is all HIS fault. Every bad thing that has happened in my life has been as a result of him." She reached out and pushed the hair out of his face again "Not everything bad was a result of him, not for me anyway, he gave me you" she said, with a simple smile.

He had failed to notice, but now his mother was practically transparent and she continued to fade. He tried to stand up and move towards he, but as he did, he tripped on something he had left on the floor and fell, just as he landed on the floor again, everything went pitch black. _Had he imagined it? _He wasn't quite sure, but he'd find out soon enough…

There will definitely be one more chapter, I've written part of it, please be patient and I'll finish as soon as I can. In the meantime you could review this chapter :-)

**Thank you all again.**


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